1. |
Canyon
05:13
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Heat blisters my skin
Fever left where the sun’s been
Beat my brain to the rhythm
I dreamt of a canyon
Trail of scum where I’ve crawled from
My foot slips off the red rocks
Like a monument in my mind
I’m chasing something
Oh oh the canyon
There are crooked wolves crying victim
In this lulling world, we still got them
And they could see the canyon, if it weren’t for fear and blame
And there are young girls in chains; goddamn this modern world’s a cage
And if they see the canyon, they’ll learn they carved up their bodies in vain
Oh oh the canyon
I’ve held- rituals on condemned ground
I’ve been a skid long enough
I wanna leave this town and seek the canyon
I’ll build a shrine at its edge
Make idols out of its emptiness
I’ll find the spirit and I’ll know the lay of the land
Yah I’ll know the lay of the land
The lay of the land on the other side
Oh oh the canyon
Oh oh the lay of the land
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2. |
Mirror
04:30
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The cyclical waltz becomes a line
When that power separates you
And the spinning dead atop the loom
They pull their silver thread and weave you
To leave you
And send you down, without your crown
And name you of where you came
And this dirt you walk, the things you’re taught
It steals your home out from in you
In you
They say in heaven everything is fine
They say in heaven everything’s all right
But down here, this land’s a mirror
With city lights that steal the night
With neon signs to tempt your eyes
With cigarettes and borderlines
And unsatisfied appetites
And this mind
This mind to lose
I had this heart, I had forgot
When I lost my love down the river
The reflection drawn, I’ve changed I swear
Should I still blacken out my mirror?
They say in heaven everything is fine
They say in heaven everything’s all right
But down here, this land’s a mirror
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3. |
Still
03:51
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You pontificate, you moan, and mutter
Don’t care if you make a home inside another
A perfect stranger or a perfect truth
There’s danger in your youth
But I’ll romanticize every trivial remark
And say you’re clever when you’re not clever
There’s no harm in a buzzing lark
There’s no need to define it either
All mind- I miss the mark
All heart- I’m in the dark
I made a home inside the middle
So I’ll lay still amongst the moving parts
I wanna see you as my mirror
And make peace with my most carious parts
A perfect fit is a boring proposition
It’s not exciting unless you pull me apart
And I watch how you break yourself down
Misanthropic, godless, not smart
Just come unravel and un-riddle
But don’t cry if you break your own heart
Oh my mind hits the mark
Oh my heart loves the dark
See your faults little by little
But lay still amongst your moving parts
I lay still amongst your moving parts
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4. |
Crocodile
04:16
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I can still recall these scenes within your thick walls
Inside this dim space that you call - friendship
I could sense your indiscretion
You viewed me as possession
And how you scratched at those walls
When you felt you didn’t have it all
Oh I hope you find what you need
But now it won’t be coming from me
Getting clean revealed our flaws
And you crashed down as I stood up from our seesaw
With trichotillomania and a cavalier façade
And how- how neatly you’re spreading your claws
And oh let’s get down to the thick of it
Yah I know, no one’s perfect
And with your siren song, I’ll drum along
You’re self-serving but you’re blind with delirium
And truly I don’t know if you’ll realize
I wish you could see yourself through my eyes
But you just stand and shrug, mouth full of blood
Tears of an only child
Cold and smug, mouth stained with blood
Tears of a crocodile
Through my eyes
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5. |
Afterglow
04:44
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Where I’ve gone, where I’ve gone with a thought
My mind’s a gun and you were slow on the draw
You’re eyes have sunk into the bathroom wall
This is not
This is not
This is not what I thought
This is not
This is not what I thought I’d see
It’s 5 am and the morning’s swallowing night
Do you remember when we sat calm in the bright?
When you ran your fingers down my spine
To ease the end of a life all painted white
It seemed reckless but all right
It seemed reckless but right
Is this what I really look like underneath the light?
Underneath the light
I’m not as clever and I’m not as sweet
And you don’t shoot powder but you can hang with me
Cuz this is not
This is not
This is not what I thought
This is not
This is not what I thought I’d be
Waiting for your fix to move your jaw
Now it’s waiting for that fix that fixes it all
And god, oh god, where were you all along?
This is not
This is not where I belong
It seemed reckless and dangerous
It seemed reckless but right
Is this what I really look like underneath the light?
Underneath the light
Light
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6. |
The Miner
06:56
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Here’s my miner coming in
With soot upon his boot
With a diamond in his hand
He’ll make me someone new
Take me in my youth
Make me someone who
Washes blood off others hands
And leaves my own to
Stain the wood of this old house
My jailbird tattoo
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
For my miner, I love him true
Oh my miner, my pitman
Bless his skillful grip
That stole me from my father’s hand
And carved me out lip to hip
He made me a woman
Mild, meek, and obedient
But as a mine guts a mountain
So to him the years did
His grip began to slip
And brought down my illusions with it
I hear the miner coming in
In his heavy mood
With breath so raw
Sandpaper skin
And teeth stained by chew
Darling, you were a good man
Before the darkness got to you
And long before the ships came in
And breached the shores where we grew
He swung up with open hand
I cursed and damned the land
I said look what you’ve done to
This once God fearing son
And here’s the miner coming in
To closed up hob and flue
No Shepherd’s pie or black pudding
No coal to keep our fire blue
And oh god what am I to do?
And what for this life I gave away?
The rest is hung on the wire
It’s just me and my miner
My pitman and I
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7. |
Of Land and Ocean
04:08
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You gave me to the wolves
December wind
Shaped me like the cold
And cracked my skin when
All I wanted was him
All I want is him
Give me my natural form
While he’s shifting
Shapes out there on his own
I’ve been waiting
For the sun to bleed
And break this spell on me
Make me well again
Make me who I’ve been
All I wanted was him
Land and ocean
Take away those chemicals
The ones that twist us up
I’ve not given in
No, I’ve just given up
I won’t let you go
I promise I’ll let go
Cuz all I need is home
To make me well again
Make me who I’ve been
land and ocean
Take away it all
I’m not scared to live
With no resolve
As long as I can
Learn to rise and fall
Learn to be it all
Before I leave again
Maybe I’ll never understand
Why I can’t have him
And be who I’ve been
Of land and ocean
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8. |
Awe
05:06
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I purposefully placed this precious peace I earned while sifting the dirt
I lined all my walls and straightened it all
I burned down the pines
I vandalized with graffito eyes
My heart white
I thought about the old days, groomed my pain in new ways
Pulled it off and gave it to the moon
Well I guess that I made room, I guess that I made room
Without meaning to
All glitter and glue
All glitter and you
Goddamn
Now I’m blinking in awe
The familiar way you talk
Yah I’m kicking up dust
Cuz this touch is too much
This touch is just lust
Been thinking too much
About the old wounds your scratching up
Yah I’m dancing on the spot
I’m just kicking up dust
Just kicking up dust
Now I’m clawing at the walls, I’m staining my lips
I’m biting down cuz I don’t wanna lose my grip
Girl, settle your wild heart and curb your twisting gut
The ceiling is talking to me
This is nothing
There is something
It ain’t nothing
Whatcha doing?
Goddamn
Stop blinking in awe
Cuz you never once entertained the thought
You just wanted to get lost
I seemed easy and convenient, insecure and soft
Enough to give you what you want
But I’m not
No I’m not
And saying no
Is more pleasureful for me
Saying no
Is more exciting
Than getting you off
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9. |
How It Goes
03:16
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You can push and pull me
Won’t hurt me at all
Soft touch of my skin
Can crack my shell
And you don’t know
Haven’t seen my hell
It claws and calls
And eats at the heart of me
I’ll play it down and hope that you never see
But knowing me, I’ve let you know me
That’s just how this goes
Despite my intention, I’m here again
Your ego, my ruse
Tended this place
Collected and cool
Your temper, my haste
My jealousy
I constantly expect this to end
Suddenly
And without explanation
I’ll play it cool and hope that you never see
I’m wounded too, sometimes it gets the best of me
But at least I know I have the capacity
For now just please
Be here with me
For now
But you just can’t be
And you played it down
But it’s so clear to me
You’re blind and bound
By flashbacks and memories
The ‘now’ is veiled
By tedious history
And that flash of light
Coming from your periphery
Well I guess that’s just how it goes
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10. |
Suburban Son
03:04
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I’m on the passenger side
In this red Cavalier
With my father’s eyes
Reflected in the mirror
And from his lit cigarette
Smoke circles his head
And pours out to the street
I quietly melt into my seat
Suburban Son
Suburban Sun
My sister is holding her breath
The trees sweat and bend
I am ten years old and
My disbelief is still suspended
Suburban Son
Suburban Sun
Suburban Son
Suburban Sun
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11. |
Home
03:30
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I could sink into Sixth Street
With both hands and knees
I could weave my body
Amongst the Queen’s Park trees
I could anchor my mind
At the Pattullo’s feet
This town of mine
A home in me
Where I rinsed off my rage
In the murky Fraser
Where I begged for change
God make me better
Embrace this place
And the trains by the river
This town of mine
You are my keeper
This home of mine
You are forever
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12. |
Light
04:58
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You bend the rules, a lie or two
Big words so late at night
And one by one they turn into
A truth beyond our might
Drive fast, out of sight
I bend the rules, I say to you
Don’t worry, it’s mine to fight
You hold my hand like you knew
Me through much darker nights
Patient pull, quiet moves
To sleep and sleep till morning
Beside me in our bed
And breathe and breathe in, my love
No rules you need to bend
Call me cruel for what I’d do
To be there with you
Again
It was born on a hard moon
I’ve shaken off bad dreams
And what is there that binds you
Will you leave beneath the trees?
All that life, what it takes
To sleep and sleep till morning
Beside me in our bed
And breathe and breathe in my love
We’ve made it here again
Slow your heart
Time to mend
See the moon softening
See the sun rising
See our waking world made light
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