Land

by Erma

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1.
Canyon 05:13
Heat blisters my skin Fever left where the sun’s been Beat my brain to the rhythm I dreamt of a canyon Trail of scum where I’ve crawled from My foot slips off the red rocks Like a monument in my mind I’m chasing something Oh oh the canyon There are crooked wolves crying victim In this lulling world, we still got them And they could see the canyon, if it weren’t for fear and blame And there are young girls in chains; goddamn this modern world’s a cage And if they see the canyon, they’ll learn they carved up their bodies in vain Oh oh the canyon I’ve held- rituals on condemned ground I’ve been a skid long enough I wanna leave this town and seek the canyon I’ll build a shrine at its edge Make idols out of its emptiness I’ll find the spirit and I’ll know the lay of the land Yah I’ll know the lay of the land The lay of the land on the other side Oh oh the canyon Oh oh the lay of the land
2.
Mirror 04:30
The cyclical waltz becomes a line When that power separates you And the spinning dead atop the loom They pull their silver thread and weave you To leave you And send you down, without your crown And name you of where you came And this dirt you walk, the things you’re taught It steals your home out from in you In you They say in heaven everything is fine They say in heaven everything’s all right But down here, this land’s a mirror With city lights that steal the night With neon signs to tempt your eyes With cigarettes and borderlines And unsatisfied appetites And this mind This mind to lose I had this heart, I had forgot When I lost my love down the river The reflection drawn, I’ve changed I swear Should I still blacken out my mirror? They say in heaven everything is fine They say in heaven everything’s all right But down here, this land’s a mirror
3.
Still 03:51
You pontificate, you moan, and mutter Don’t care if you make a home inside another A perfect stranger or a perfect truth There’s danger in your youth But I’ll romanticize every trivial remark And say you’re clever when you’re not clever There’s no harm in a buzzing lark There’s no need to define it either All mind- I miss the mark All heart- I’m in the dark I made a home inside the middle So I’ll lay still amongst the moving parts I wanna see you as my mirror And make peace with my most carious parts A perfect fit is a boring proposition It’s not exciting unless you pull me apart And I watch how you break yourself down Misanthropic, godless, not smart Just come unravel and un-riddle But don’t cry if you break your own heart Oh my mind hits the mark Oh my heart loves the dark See your faults little by little But lay still amongst your moving parts I lay still amongst your moving parts
4.
Crocodile 04:16
I can still recall these scenes within your thick walls Inside this dim space that you call - friendship I could sense your indiscretion You viewed me as possession And how you scratched at those walls When you felt you didn’t have it all Oh I hope you find what you need But now it won’t be coming from me Getting clean revealed our flaws And you crashed down as I stood up from our seesaw With trichotillomania and a cavalier façade And how- how neatly you’re spreading your claws And oh let’s get down to the thick of it Yah I know, no one’s perfect And with your siren song, I’ll drum along You’re self-serving but you’re blind with delirium And truly I don’t know if you’ll realize I wish you could see yourself through my eyes But you just stand and shrug, mouth full of blood Tears of an only child Cold and smug, mouth stained with blood Tears of a crocodile Through my eyes
5.
Afterglow 04:44
Where I’ve gone, where I’ve gone with a thought My mind’s a gun and you were slow on the draw You’re eyes have sunk into the bathroom wall This is not This is not This is not what I thought This is not This is not what I thought I’d see It’s 5 am and the morning’s swallowing night Do you remember when we sat calm in the bright? When you ran your fingers down my spine To ease the end of a life all painted white It seemed reckless but all right It seemed reckless but right Is this what I really look like underneath the light? Underneath the light I’m not as clever and I’m not as sweet And you don’t shoot powder but you can hang with me Cuz this is not This is not This is not what I thought This is not This is not what I thought I’d be Waiting for your fix to move your jaw Now it’s waiting for that fix that fixes it all And god, oh god, where were you all along? This is not This is not where I belong It seemed reckless and dangerous It seemed reckless but right Is this what I really look like underneath the light? Underneath the light Light
6.
The Miner 06:56
Here’s my miner coming in With soot upon his boot With a diamond in his hand He’ll make me someone new Take me in my youth Make me someone who Washes blood off others hands And leaves my own to Stain the wood of this old house My jailbird tattoo There’s nothing I wouldn’t do For my miner, I love him true Oh my miner, my pitman Bless his skillful grip That stole me from my father’s hand And carved me out lip to hip He made me a woman Mild, meek, and obedient But as a mine guts a mountain So to him the years did His grip began to slip And brought down my illusions with it I hear the miner coming in In his heavy mood With breath so raw Sandpaper skin And teeth stained by chew Darling, you were a good man Before the darkness got to you And long before the ships came in And breached the shores where we grew He swung up with open hand I cursed and damned the land I said look what you’ve done to This once God fearing son And here’s the miner coming in To closed up hob and flue No Shepherd’s pie or black pudding No coal to keep our fire blue And oh god what am I to do? And what for this life I gave away? The rest is hung on the wire It’s just me and my miner My pitman and I
7.
You gave me to the wolves December wind Shaped me like the cold And cracked my skin when All I wanted was him All I want is him Give me my natural form While he’s shifting Shapes out there on his own I’ve been waiting For the sun to bleed And break this spell on me Make me well again Make me who I’ve been All I wanted was him Land and ocean Take away those chemicals The ones that twist us up I’ve not given in No, I’ve just given up I won’t let you go I promise I’ll let go Cuz all I need is home To make me well again Make me who I’ve been land and ocean Take away it all I’m not scared to live With no resolve As long as I can Learn to rise and fall Learn to be it all Before I leave again Maybe I’ll never understand Why I can’t have him And be who I’ve been Of land and ocean
8.
Awe 05:06
I purposefully placed this precious peace I earned while sifting the dirt I lined all my walls and straightened it all I burned down the pines I vandalized with graffito eyes My heart white I thought about the old days, groomed my pain in new ways Pulled it off and gave it to the moon Well I guess that I made room, I guess that I made room Without meaning to All glitter and glue All glitter and you Goddamn Now I’m blinking in awe The familiar way you talk Yah I’m kicking up dust Cuz this touch is too much This touch is just lust Been thinking too much About the old wounds your scratching up Yah I’m dancing on the spot I’m just kicking up dust Just kicking up dust Now I’m clawing at the walls, I’m staining my lips I’m biting down cuz I don’t wanna lose my grip Girl, settle your wild heart and curb your twisting gut The ceiling is talking to me This is nothing There is something It ain’t nothing Whatcha doing? Goddamn Stop blinking in awe Cuz you never once entertained the thought You just wanted to get lost I seemed easy and convenient, insecure and soft Enough to give you what you want But I’m not No I’m not And saying no Is more pleasureful for me Saying no Is more exciting Than getting you off
9.
How It Goes 03:16
You can push and pull me Won’t hurt me at all Soft touch of my skin Can crack my shell And you don’t know Haven’t seen my hell It claws and calls And eats at the heart of me I’ll play it down and hope that you never see But knowing me, I’ve let you know me That’s just how this goes Despite my intention, I’m here again Your ego, my ruse Tended this place Collected and cool Your temper, my haste My jealousy I constantly expect this to end Suddenly And without explanation I’ll play it cool and hope that you never see I’m wounded too, sometimes it gets the best of me But at least I know I have the capacity For now just please Be here with me For now But you just can’t be And you played it down But it’s so clear to me You’re blind and bound By flashbacks and memories The ‘now’ is veiled By tedious history And that flash of light Coming from your periphery Well I guess that’s just how it goes
10.
Suburban Son 03:04
I’m on the passenger side In this red Cavalier With my father’s eyes Reflected in the mirror And from his lit cigarette Smoke circles his head And pours out to the street I quietly melt into my seat Suburban Son Suburban Sun My sister is holding her breath The trees sweat and bend I am ten years old and My disbelief is still suspended Suburban Son Suburban Sun Suburban Son Suburban Sun
11.
Home 03:30
I could sink into Sixth Street With both hands and knees I could weave my body Amongst the Queen’s Park trees I could anchor my mind At the Pattullo’s feet This town of mine A home in me Where I rinsed off my rage In the murky Fraser Where I begged for change God make me better Embrace this place And the trains by the river This town of mine You are my keeper This home of mine You are forever
12.
Light 04:58
You bend the rules, a lie or two Big words so late at night And one by one they turn into A truth beyond our might Drive fast, out of sight I bend the rules, I say to you Don’t worry, it’s mine to fight You hold my hand like you knew Me through much darker nights Patient pull, quiet moves To sleep and sleep till morning Beside me in our bed And breathe and breathe in, my love No rules you need to bend Call me cruel for what I’d do To be there with you Again It was born on a hard moon I’ve shaken off bad dreams And what is there that binds you Will you leave beneath the trees? All that life, what it takes To sleep and sleep till morning Beside me in our bed And breathe and breathe in my love We’ve made it here again Slow your heart Time to mend See the moon softening See the sun rising See our waking world made light

about

With minimal roots-based accompaniment that emphasizes the lyrically forward songcraft, Erma's work evokes artists such as Fiona Apple and Phoebe Bridgers, coming from a tradition of introspective femme focused writing that doesn't play to histrionics, choosing instead to subtly work its way into the listeners psyche over repeated listening. Much like a passing landscape seen through a car window, Land is an album that supports the listener sitting back and allowing themselves to travel as an observant passenger, tracking the gradual progress of the journey through the shifting landscape.

This album was written and recorded on the unceded land of the Coast Salish People- xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), sel̓íl̓witulh (Tsleil Waututh) and sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish)

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released August 28, 2020

All songs written by Erma
Produced/Recorded by James Szuszkiewicz
Mastered by Railtown Mastering

℗ 2020 Theresa Vohanka

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Erma New Westminster, British Columbia

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